Birth story update part 2

First of all, I just want to apologize to everyone that has been following the journey, I know I have not been posting for three months. And I am still catching up with everyone’s update as well. Congratulations to those who have became pregnant in the past couple months. Hang in there for those that are on the infertility journey. My heart goes out to you all.

To continue the birth story, in the morning when I woke up, the nurse told me about what happened to me during and post delivery. She said they are going to check my blood count and Dr said I might need blood transfusion. (So I was getting my blood checked morning and afternoon for those days I was at the hospital. )It was around 5:30 am or so, I REALLY want to see the baby, but I am still in labor and delivery unit and baby is upstairs in the nursery. I was really upset that I didn’t get to do skin to skin with my baby. That guilt didn’t go away even until now. Anyway, the nurse said she can ask them to bring the baby down. I was really excited. The moment they pushed the baby into my room was just amazing. Words can’t describe. I am looking at her and she looks just like me. She was licking her lips as she was hungry. I tried to breastfeed her but it was not successful. But I thought she might have gotten enough to eat. Then I cuddled with her. As much as I was enjoying the moment, I keep feeling like I was going to faint and I couldn’t really express myself because my body just will not follow the command of my brain.

Around 8 am they started transferring me to mother and baby unit upstairs. The morning nurse in there is not as patient but whatever. I practiced on changing her diaper and swaddling. Amy seems hungry all the time. Hospital bed made it not very easy to breastfeed. I was still hooked up to a lot of stuff including the catheter so I couldn’t fully sit up or get out of bed. Amy will not latch well (in January we found out the reason), I asked for lactation consultant to help. She came in and tried to help me out but she told me with my medical history and What just happened during delivery, it might be difficult to have colostrum and milk to come in, I will need to be more patient and continue to pump even when baby is not eating. So she got the hospital grade breast pump for me to use.

Throughout the day, I tried to feed her every two hours but she is very fussy at the breast and just will not latch longer than a couple minutes. I was pumping and then feed her with syringe. Until that night, the night shift nurse suggested to supplement with formula since baby seems very hungry. She finished the formula within seconds, my poor baby was so hungry. My mom stayed with me for the night. That night they took her to bathe, she smells so good after that.

Hubby came back in the morning, my in-laws came to visit in the afternoon. I felt super exhausted all day from the blood lost. The nurse said she was surprised I am even conscious after losing so much blood. I was not up for visitors really, anyway, just feel awful, everything hurts. They didn’t take my catheter out until that afternoon and I had to get help from nurse to get up and use the restroom.

I got discharged on Thursday, I was very ready to leave the hospital and go home. The first month at home was definitely challenging. I am going to break down to each topic(breastfeeding, sleep, bath) and share my experience in the upcoming posts.

Traumatic birth story

We got checked in to the hospital at 5:30, hook on all the monitors. A very rude nurse came in and asked me bunch questions, I got a little annoyed because those I have answered when I pre-registered online. Another two nurses came in at 6:30 and they told me I need to start Cervidil. I honestly have never learned about it before. I thought it will be similar to progesterone depository. But I was so wrong, this one the nurse had to find my cervix and place it behind it. I screamed when she did that, it was so uncomfortable and painful, obviously no anesthesia. I almost cried. And I had to lay on the bed for two hours before I can get up and use restroom so imagine how uncomfortable that is for late term pregnancy. I kept feeling like going to pee but I can’t. Not to mention everytime I go I need to unhook all the monitors and take the IV pole with me. I got up just about every hour to use restroom, so really I didn’t sleep much. I was having contractions around 11 pm all the way to the morning.

My OB came in and checked for dilation around 9 am, I was 2 cm dilated and he broke my water to speed things up. I had a few more contractions after he left and they were more intense and makes me want to breath thru them. They started me on Pitocin. Then I asked for epidural around 10:15 am. I became really happy and comfortable. I was talking to my in laws and my husband, watching tv and playing on my phone etc. I felt Epidural is the best thing that happened in the world at that moment. I took a few naps and nurse came to check on me a couple times and increased my Pitocin. My cervix was dilated to 6 cm by 6 pm. Then I was fully dilated to 10cm at 10 pm but the problem is my cervix is still high and dr said I will be pushing for long time if we start now. So he said to wait another hour or so.

Finally I started to push around 11:30, the nurse was teaching me how to push and it takes a lot of strength to push and I feel a lot of pressure even with epidural. I felt like I didn’t have much strength left because I haven’t ate for about 36 hours at that point. All I had was popsicle and ice chips. I lost all the strength around 12:10, so I requested for csection. Dr said don’t give up yet, try to push a few more times and baby is almost here. I knew he was lying though. I kept begging for C section and gave up on pushing. Next thing I remember was passing out. When I woke up, the room was full of nurses. I don’t know how many but at least 10 for sure. Dr said if I push more we can use forceps to deliver baby. At that time I had no idea what time it was and I kept blacking out. Finally they are ready and nurse told me to push twice and baby will be out. I used all I have left to push. Each time I push I threw up as well. Overall it was just terrible. And there comes Amy. 7 lbs and 10 oz

Everyone is saying congratulations and great job etc but I didn’t care. I saw Dr pulled her out with the forceps and saw Amy’s face and her crying. Dr clamped the cord and hubby cut the cord. Hubby kept telling me how beautiful she is and such a good job I did. I can hear him but I couldn’t respond. Then she was taken to the warmer and attended by other nurses. That’s all I remember then I became unconscious.

(A lot was going on during those time that I passed out, my family filled me in the next day, I might write a separate post about that)

That night instead of transferring me to postpartum recovery and baby unit, they kept me at labor and delivery. It turns out the reason I passed out was hemorrhage. Apparently I lost a lot of blood and my blood pressure bottomed out. Throughout the night, I was semi-conscious. I could hear people talking but was not able to respond. The nurse kept coming in to check my uterus and weigh the blood that is on the pads. I was given IV and other medications.

To be continued

Quick update

Sorry I haven’t been updating as often. I wrote a long blog the other day about my last appointments then when I tried to post, the app keeps crashing and didn’t save my draft. Anyway, I have been very busy these days so I didn’t retype it.

Baby is doing okay, the other day I got hit by a shopping cart by accident and my belly was hurting but baby is fine and kicks a lot. I told doctor about it but he didn’t think it was a big deal. We almost went to the hospital that night when baby was not moving. But it turns out she was just sleeping. After I drink some milk, she started moving.

I had my week 36 check up with non stress test. It was so boring and uncomfortable laying there watching the machine. It took about 45 mins because she was not moving a whole lot. When I lay flat, she doesn’t move too much. She likes to move when I lay on my side. But the nurse told me to lay flat. Anyway, baby girl was not cooperating most of the time. I passed the test in the end. Next week I will have a vaginal exam and also an ultrasound to check biological profile and growth again.

Growth ultrasound

Just want to post a quick update. Today we had my 32 week ultrasound. Last night we were both nervous and excited so didn’t sleep too well. But that’s okay just so excited to see my baby. We had breakfast then headed over to Dr’s office. The wait is always pretty long. Everytime we go we wait about 30-40 mins to be seen even we have an appointment. 

Ultrasound tech is really nice, different one than the one that did my 20 week anatomy scan. This one was quick and basically just taking measurements and didn’t really get good pictures because she said around this time, it is getting really crowded in there so there is not enough space for her to move around. She is measuring 4 lbs 6 oz at the moment, I can see her legs seem pretty long. The Bump app says she should be around 3.75 pounds so that means she is slightly bigger than estimated. Yay!!! 

Then we waited another forever to see my Dr. He said she is right around 56 percentile so just about average which is perfect. My blood pressure is stable. If she grows like estimated, half a pound a week or so, she will be around 7lbs and a half at birth. That sounds like a good size. We both just can’t wait to meet her. Hopefully the next 7 and a half weeks go by quickly and we will finally have her. 

Week 32 – baby shower

Around 30 weeks I had my baby shower. It was absolutely wonderful. We received lots of gifts including bouncer, activity gym, blankets, outfits, sleepwears, bottles etc. After the shower, we put everything in the baby room and there was no room to even walk around. We are so grateful for all the friends and family that attended. We both got really emotional at the shower and I cried before we even started opening gifts. Now I have got her stuff organized and packed my hospital bag. I know it is still early but we love to be prepared. 

As far as for pregnancy goes, the belly is getting bigger and bigger everyday. I have gained probably around 17lbs so far. If I stand straight, I can no longer see my own feet lol. Baby girl moves a lot now but sometimes it is still concerning when she is sleeping and hasn’t kicked for a while. The other day when Hubby poked her, she pushed back like a high five. It’s so cool. My belly will sometimes tilted to one side because she is stretching. A little alien in my belly. 

It is getting very difficult to change sleeping position at night and when I am on my back even for just a few seconds. It’s hard to breath. And frequent bathroom trip is starting again. Almost each night I wake up about 3 to 4 times to  go to bathroom even though I didn’t drink much water that night. So sleeping has been rough and nightmares keep happening too. 

Tomorrow I will have another ultrasound to measure her at 32 weeks. Can’t wait till my appointment. I hope she has grown well. At my last appointment, I was 30 weeks but my uterus was measuring at 32 weeks. My Dr said that’s within the normal range and not necessarily mean the baby is too big. So I guess we will get to find out tomorrow how much she really weighs now. 

Week 32 – baby shower

Around 30 weeks I had my baby shower. It was absolutely wonderful. We received lots of gifts including bouncer, activity gym, blankets, outfits, sleepwears, bottles etc. We are so grateful for all the friends and family that attended. 

As far as for pregnancy goes, the belly is getting bigger and bigger everyday. I have gained probably around 17lbs so far. If I stand straight, I can no longer see my own feet lol. Baby girl moves a lot now but sometimes it is still concerning when she is sleeping and hasn’t kicked for a while. The other day when Hubby poked her, she pushed back like a high five. It’s so cool. My belly will sometimes tilted to one side because she is stretching. A little alien in my belly. 

It is getting very difficult to change sleeping position at night and when I am on my back even for just a few seconds. It’s hard to breath. And frequent bathroom trip is starting again. Almost each night I wake up about 3 to 4 times to  go to bathroom even though I didn’t drink much water that night. So sleeping has been rough and nightmares keep happening too. 

Tomorrow I will have another ultrasound to measure her at 32 weeks. Can’t wait till my appointment. I hope she has grown well. At my last appointment, I was 30 weeks but my uterus was measuring at 32 weeks. My Dr said that’s within the normal range and not necessarily mean the baby is too big. So I guess we will get to find out tomorrow how much she really weighs now. 

Week 28 update- Glucose challenge test

Wow, can’t believe I am writing this. I think I almost mentioned it in every pregnancy post that I didn’t think I will make it this far. Anyway, this week I am 28 weeks along and baby is the size of egg plant. 

She has been kicking a lot especially when I eat sweets. She doesn’t care so much for savory food. This week I have been a little anxious because of glucose challenge test. I thought there is no chance that I would pass the test because I am prediabetic before pregnancy. So days leading up to the test is slightly nerve racking. I wanted to eat carbohydrates because that’s my favorite and just about the only type I like to eat in pregnancy. I wanted to keep eating them because I was afraid I will be put on the low carb diet after I fail the test. At the same time I was afraid it will make my sugar go up further and I would fail the test so I was trying to control what I ate as well. 

Thursday morning I went into Dr’s office and they gave me the glucose drink. I know most people hates that drink but I actually like it. It is pretty good but I wish it was not cold though. Nurse gave to me from the fridge. I had to finish the drink within 5 mins. Then we went back to the waiting room and had to wait for one hour to get blood drawn. 

Then we were seen by my OB, routine checks (measuring the uterus, pee in the cup, weight, heartbeat etc). I am measuring between 28 to 29 weeks. The only concern was my blood pressure was slightly elevated, not too bad and no protein found in the urine. Dr told us to start coming in every two weeks to get checked and I will get lab result on Friday. 

Friday I called the office because I didn’t want to wait over the weekend and wondering if I need to go on low carb diet or not. The nurse called me back in the afternoon and told me my result was normal. What!!!!! No way!!! I definitely didn’t expect that at all. Unbelievable!! Of course I am really happy about this. I can still eat rice, pasta and bread!!! 

My husband has only felt baby move a couple times so far, for some reasons, our baby girl likes to play games with him. Whenever he put his hand on my belly, she stopps kicking. Almost like it is on purpose. My poor hubby. Hopefully he gets to experience more vigorous kick soon. Now I can sometimes see my belly moving from the outside which is totally weird. A little alien inside. 

The guilt and 27 weeks update

I have not been posting as often as I used to. Mainly because I constantly feel the guilt of being pregnant. Everytime I post an update I feel it might not be what others want to see. I know people will tell me that I deserve to be pregnant after so many years of trying. But truthfully, I feel bad for being happy about pregnancy. Obviously I am excited about the baby but at the same time I know there are so many ladies that are still suffering from infertility and losses. I do feel really sorry for them and my heart goes out to them. This month is PCOS awareness month. So loves for PCOS sisters!! PCOS sucks!! I hope there will be more awareness in upcoming years.

As far as for pregnancy goes, I have less anxiety about miscarriage fears now since passing the mid-pregnancy mark. But now I got into the phase of worrying about baby being stillborn. I am currently 27 weeks so I don’t need to do kick counts yet. I do get more comfortable when I feel her kicking. One day last week she didn’t kick for a while and I got scared and used the Doppler to find the heartbeat and thank goodness it was strong. In the past few days she has been very active especially at night. Sometimes I feel she is doing jumping jacks in there. I can’t believe third trimester is coming right around the corner and I am a little freaking out about getting ready for baby. Next week I will have my 28 week check up and glucose challenge test.

Baby moon or pee pee moon?

Today I reached a huge milestone in pregnancy. I am currently 24 weeks which means viability if preterm labor happens. Not gonna lie it feels so much better knowing that and such a relief. The entire pregnancy so far has lots of scary situations involved and I am just glad I made it this far especially after what happened over the last weekend. 

This past weekend we had our babymoon in Atlanta, GA. It was an amazing getaway for the three of us. Last trip before the baby comes and the only trip when traveling with baby doesn’t require diaper bags and toys etc. lol. In order to save my remaining vacation days for delivery and also hubby can’t get vacation days so we tried to squeeze everything into two days while we are off. 

Saturday morning we both got up at like 1 or 2 am and couldn’t go back to sleep because we are nervous and excited about the trip. 4 am we headed out of the house to the airport. 6 am we left to fly to Atlanta. Very short flight and hubby got the best seat ever on the plane. Not only it is on the exit row and there is no seat in front of him so he got extra extra extra leg room. We were pretty tired by the time we boarded for lack of sleep. We both felt asleep before plane took off and by the time we woke up we were almost ready to land. 

For Saturday we went to Georgia Aquarium and World of Coca Cola. The Aquarium is definitely the highlight of the trip and really the whole purpose of the trip also. Whale is our favorite animal and that’s why the baby nursery theme is whale/ocean theme. We both love whales, sharks, rays and pretty much all the sea creatures. Georgie Aquarium is the only aquarium in the US that has whale shark and manta ray. So no need to say how excited we are about this. The experience is absolutely amazing.  They also have a dolphin show which was very cool. Aquarium has also been my favorite place to visit since I was young. And our goal is to visit all the large aquariums in the world. 

World of Coca Cola is quite fun as well. We got to visit the vault where the secret recipe is kept and tasted all coke products from around the world. Some of them taste funny though. We felt asleep at the museum watching all the Coca-Cola ads from around the world. The most bizarre part of the visit was at the beginning. We were all taken into this mini theater for a quick film about Coca Cola. To my surprise it was not about the history of the company. It was a serial of video clips that shows how Coca Cola is part of people’s biggest moments in life. I cried like a baby and couldn’t stop. Yes it was very touching but normally I wouldn’t cry like that. I would probably shed a tear or two but this time was crazy. Hubby was so surprised when he found me crying after the movie has ended and the light came on. And I still couldn’t stop. What the heck!!! I literally had to sit there and calm down before I can continue to the next part of the visit. 

Traveling with a belly is definitely not easy. Typically I can walk fast and for a long time and not feeling exhausted. But this trip was so different. I was tired pretty much when we got to the hotel for check in after the flight. Before we even went to the aquarium I was already feeling like I am done for the day. People are not kidding about pregnancy fatigue at all. 

We crashed on the hotel bed Saturday night. Sunday we went to the zoo. Zoo was alright but not as impressive as I had hoped. At the zoo I had contraction like pain, for a very short period of time then it went away. I don’t know what it means so I got scared and had to sit down to rest and hoping it will stop. I definitely don’t want to deliver baby before 24 weeks. Thank goodness it stopped. Maybe I just got too tired from all the walking we did this weekend. I had to go to restroom to check a few times just to be sure no blood was coming out. 

In the afternoon we visited CNN studio and took a tour behind the scenes. Very interesting but too bad they will not allow photos. Second highlight of the trip. We also went to college football hall of fame. That to me was quite boring because I am not that into football but I think for my husband it was quite fun. We flew back in town late night and had to go to work Monday. So we were exhausted for sure. 

The whole two days I went to ladies room like million times at each attraction and every time I look at my husband I said I need to go again. And every time he sees a restroom he just looked at me and said just go. I don’t even need to say it anymore. Something about the walking makes me go more often. Maybe it is because there is less support for the belly and is pressing against the bladder. Baby moon is more like a pee pee moon.!!😂😂😂

Week 22- finally feeling better

I want to say thank you all for all the well wishes and after almost two weeks, I am finally feeling better. As of today I am still taking antibiotics, I got like another day left on it. In pregnancy I feel all the sickness is 10 times worse than before pregnancy. 

I have been feeling baby kicking a lot now. She moves more at night than during the day. It seems like she is a night owl lol. Everytime I turn around at night she moves a whole lot. Feeling baby kick is still pretty amazing. But I am sure after a while it will get old and I might get annoyed because she keeps me up. 

This week we went to a dog and baby class offered by the hospital and it was quite interesting. He talked about how to train dogs and how to introduce baby to the dogs. We started training them now and hopefully they will be ready by the time baby comes. Here is a picture of my lab. 

Next week we are going on a mini “Baby Moon”. We are both really excited about that. Finally getting out of town and away from everything here and just relax. The best of all, the trip is paid for by my credit card points. 

As far as for pregnancy symptoms go, I started to have leg cramps, shortness of breath, backaches etc. Here come the ugly part of pregnancy. But I alway feel grateful for how far this pregnancy has come and hopefully everything go smoothly from here.